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Emilyisms

A slight detour

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There are so many beautiful things about life. The fluid colors of each sunset, melting orange into pink into purple. The balls of fire hanging in the night sky above us, tiny and distant, but bigger than we can imagine. Love — a chemical reaction that binds us to others and yet destroys us. It’s amazing that sometimes we don’t see these things, that we only see the turmoil within ourselves.

I was struggling. I’ve found that unhappiness so frequently is just our brain’s way of telling us that it’s time to change. I am unfortunately someone so bound by loyalty, so set in nostalgia and optimism for the future, that I don’t let go easily. Sometimes you have to be pushed away to get where you need to be.

And here I am. Confident, happy, sure of myself. It’s not always perfect. I have much to do to get where I want. But I had taken the wrong road, detoured, and now I am back where I should be.

I’m ready.

Emilyisms

The Ballad of El Sad-o

I have been struggling with some severe depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem for several months now.

Last night my boyfriend broke up with me, in part because of these things. Maybe entirely because of them.

Sucks, man.